Let’s start with stating the obvious …
You love your kid.
BUT … you may feel at times …
And maybe a bit guilty because even though you LOVE your child, you resent the fact that parenthood makes you a bit bitter.
If so, don’t worry since you are not alone.
You should not feel guilty about this.
In fact, these are common emotions that you are feeling so don’t fret.
In this article I am about to share with you …
- Why you feel this way
- Why it’s not a BAD thing BUT a GOOD thing
- And how you are going to fix it.
Here goes …
As a parent you want what’s best for your child. Obviously.
And like most parents, your intention is to provide a better life, with more opportunity for your child than what you experienced growing up. Sound familiar?
But the problem is that although your intention is good, you give away the farm to your child.
And I don’t just mean the physical things or experiences …
Instead, you give them one of the most important things YOU must nurture and LOVE in order for YOU to feel good.
And that is …
That’s right. You forget to take care of YOU FIRST.
And yes, I can hear many out there saying now … “well if my kid is happy then I will be happy” …
BUT this too is a BIG MISTAKE, NEVER WORKS long term and sets you up for BIG time resentment, not just as a parent but as a person and I am going to tell you why …
If YOU allow your happiness to depend on anyone other than yourself, you are setting yourself up for a life of disappointment; and this includes the happiness of a child or a spouse …
You see …
Unless YOU are happy, you really don’t have much to give anyone else.
It’s hard to LOVE and GIVE whole-heartedly when YOU are not LOVING yourself. In fact it’s pretty impossible …
And what most parents don’t realize is that the more YOU as the parent become happy with yourself the more you teach your children (by EXAMPLE) that their happiness comes from within them and is not dependent on you as the parent or anyone else for that matter. (Imagine learning THAT at a young age … that’s a life changer)
So if you want to be an example of what it looks like to Start Loving Life® and teach your kids to do the same, then listen up …
Taking care of yourself is NOT taking the time to get your nails done OR get your hair done or spend the day at a salon.
Although nice, those are short-lived and temporary. You may feel good in the moment, but as soon as you get home you’ll be back to the grind waiting on the next nail or spa appointment …
So instead I am going to tell you what you can do that ACTUALLY WORKS and is simpler than going to a salon. In fact you don’t even have to leave your house for it …
I know it’s hard to believe that it can be that easy, but a wonderful thing happens when YOU Start Loving Life: not only do YOU feel good but your life actually becomes much easier …
So here goes ….
RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, you are going to do the ONE thing you probably NEVER do. But it’s the MOST POWERFUL thing you SHOULD do that will get you feeling better RIGHT AWAY …
YOU HAVE TO START APPRECIATING YOURSELF!!!!
That’s right. I said it. Now you may be rolling your eyes right now but hear me out …
You may be super-loving and kind with your child, but ARE YOU super-loving and kind to the first person that matters most … YOU?
Meaning are you appreciating all the BIG and LITTLE ways you …
- Manage your family life (all of it … kids, spouse, parents, pets, etc.)?
- Maintain the household STUFF?
- FOOD? Everyone has to eat right?
- Perhaps you have a J-O-B?
AND do you appreciate yourself when you TOTALLY mess up?
Like forgetting to pack your kid’s lunch?
Or forgetting to pick up your child from school or daycare?
Sounds terrible I know, but it’s called LIFE and it’s called it’s okay to mess up. But appreciate the fact that YOU ARE TRYING YOUR BEST and STOP being so hard on yourself.
In fact, practice smiling MORE.
Practice laughing MORE.
BUT first and foremost, practice LOVING YOURSELF MORE …
Because MOM … YOU ARE AMAZING. And I am sure your kid is pretty damn amazing, too.
But the BEST part about this whole process is that once YOU start to feel amazing, REGARDLESS of anyone or anything, you will then teach your child to do the same.
Connie Henriquez is a Teen Life Coach who works with kids & teens who suffer from anxiety and common childhood insecurities. Her specialty includes teaching them how to be confident, happy, make better decisions and LOVE their LIFE in as little as 30 days (regardless of what they have experienced in their past). For more information check out StartLovingLife.com or call (516) 340-0378.
Long gone are the days where being rich is only about money. If you are not waking up every single day excited about life you are missing out…
In fact, you are missing out if…
- You are hell bent on who the president is (and yes I would say this regardless of who won). YOU control your life by your decisions and actions. Don’t use the President or anything for that matter as an excuse to complain OR not be happy.
- You get offended by what others do. Who cares what others choose to do. That’s their problem, don’t make it yours.
- You say you are a positive person (this one I love!) but your actions are quite the opposite…
Become part of the NEW TYPE of RICH. KNOW exactly why “YOUR MINDSET” is the ONLY thing that brings TRUE HAPPINESS. LOVE AND THE MONEY you want.
So stop chasing the love and the money and start finding yourself. Because IT ALL means nothing if you’re are NOT waking up every day EXCITED about YOUR life…
For MORE FREE ADVICE on you can Start Loving Life, be sure to join our email list below! 😉
I remember in my early 20’s, sitting in the Airport Diner in Bohemia, Long Island noshing on mozzarella sticks at 11pm with an old friend catching up and discussing life. I recall being dissatisfied with where Iwas and pondering what was next.
Oddly enough I remember the conversation well as it went like this…
My friend: “Con, I feel as if you will never be happy. You are always wanting for the next. It’s as if you are never satisfied.”
Me: Whaaaaa…??: (
OMG. He was totally right. I recall sitting there with nothing more to say other than thinking, geeeez what is my problem…I am so over eating these mozzarella sticks…if this is my life I am so screwed.
Fast forward 10 years later…
I finally had a new understanding of the conversation that night. It’s interesting to see the things that stand out from your past which at the time you have no idea the significance.
Interestingly enough, that night I thought I had a problem and what I feared most was the mere thought of going through life never being crazy excited about waking up each day, always wanting for more and never getting it, and being strangely disappointed that I would be subjected to the same long career, typical marriage in my mid twenties and juggling some kids until they were old enough for college. Again great for some people but for me…
Little did I realize that the exact opposite would happen and I would probably owe that conversation that night as my inspiration…
What I realized was…
I didn’t feel bad that night because my friend was right. Instead I felt bad because that conversation had me focused in opposition to everything I ever wanted, an improved job, more money, an awesome relationship…etc.
I was allowing some else’s perspective of me based on their own limited thinking (unknowingly of course…) to influence how I felt about myself and my desire for consistently wanting to grow.
As a result, I came to a very clear understanding, one in which I appreciate my friend for calling me out on…
90% of the population is content with status quo. They begin a career, work hard all their life, wake up on Monday looking forward to Friday and counting the years waiting for the day of retirement. And if that’s you and that makes you super happy, then that is great.
But if you are anything like me and find status quo terribly boring and suffocating to say the least then you are in luck…
What I finally realized is that there is a 10% just like me. You know…
Life is about the evolution of YOU. Which means you are always going to be wanting for more, long gone are the days when you pick one career and stick with it your entire life. Instead you will find you create a goal, accomplish the goal and then move on to the next…
And there is nothing wrong with this at all!
In fact, the most growth, fun and satisfaction you will experience in life, is when you continuously expand your boundaries. This is where increased confidence plays a role as the more you try new things and accomplish what you set out to do the more confidence you find in yourself. It is pretty amazing and life-giving once you start on this journey of self growth.
The second realization is something which is equally important and one that I was guilty of for years…
Appreciating YOURSELF. For years I neglected to pay attention and appreciate everything that I had accomplished so far. This includes everything, the little things, the great things and even the things you screwed up royally. Everything you do must be appreciated, because everything you do helps you clarify your likes and dislikes.
Some things you will want more of and some things you will realize once you tried there is never a reason to have to do that again. Every experience allows for you to make better decisions that are aligned with the NEW you and what you are moving towards.
Start Loving Life now…
Life is about progress. Life does not stand still. Life only seems to stand still when you keep doing the same thing over and over again. This equals boring, stuck and the feeling of discontent.
Instead don’t feel wrong for consistently wanting to grow and evolve. That is what a fun, amazing life is about. Expand your boundaries and life will expand with you allowing new and great experiences to come your way. Appreciate everything you can about everything you have lived so far. Give credit where credit is due. Every experience has created the person you are today. Don’t allow any bad experience to consume you instead appreciate the bad experience as a clarifying moment.
And secondly, appreciate yourself for every little thing you have done or plan to do. Once you discover the value in appreciating yourself you will see how life changes in the craziest ways and crazy goooood things start to happen for you…
What steps can you take today to move your life forward?
What things from your past and present can you appreciate for allowing you to be the person you are today?
Leave your comments below 😉
They neglect their first customer: their employees.
It still amazes me how many companies spend so much money on marketing, advertising and all this non-sense and never think twice about their employee’s morale??
Word to the wise: Your employees are your first customer. If they feel undervalued, underappreciated or downright unhappy in any way I can guarantee you that some-how, some-way that is being translated to your external customer. Can you imagine??
Regardless of how much money you spend in order to attract and retain external customers, you cannot maximize your return on investment fully if you are neglecting the moral of your employees.
Think about it, how are you keeping your employees happy and engaged?
Do you trust in yourself as a leader? Leaders have the power to set the tone and influence the bunch. Do you speak to your teams as if the team’s success is a given, or are you always concerned and speak as such. A powerful leader believes, a weak leader doubts.
Are you acknowledging their personal successes (even as small as they may be) come on, there is always something that can be acknowledged.
Are you communicating the company’s successes (even as small as they may be). Sometimes when business is tough, employees get discouraged. Be sure although you communicate the state of the business, accentuate the positives (and that’s your work as the employer to find the positives).
Are you adding value to the workplace by offering on-site initiatives such as coaching for people development, lunch and learns or dress down days. The possibilities are endless…
Don’t let profits be thrown out the window. There are many ways to keep your employees interested and engaged. Try many different things and see what sticks.
Either way, the effort alone will speak volumes. Everyone loves to be recognized and appreciated.
The trick is, love your people and watch how quickly they love you back.
Happy employees = happy customers = happy results
*Interested in learning more about coaching your team for quick, easy results? Contact Start Loving Life’s support team TODAY and discover how YOU and your employees can Start Loving Life now… Click HERE for more information TODAY!
1) They know when to stop talking. Yes. That’s right, it may seem happy people may be on the quieter side but it really has to do with the topic of conversation. Happy people prefer not to engage in complaining, what’s not working in their life or speaking about other people. It is just not fun to them nor does it feel good. They are also intuitively aware that their attention to anything expands so why would they waste their time focused on a topic that would perpetuate negative creating of their own life. They just won’t do it, and you may see them sneak away to grab a cocktail if available. See, you now drove them to drink. Stop complaining.
2) Happy people do not make a big deal about stupid sh*t going wrong. They know life is always working out for them and even in crap moments they understand their own personal power, and see the “crap” experiences as interesting only. They know the temporary emotional set-back serves only as a clear indicator that it’s time to get back on track to start loving life. Yes, everyone falls off track sometimes, even the happy people except they don’t use it as an excuse to crawl up in a ball and cry (for long anyway) and instead move onward and upward as quickly as humanely possible.
You will never see a happy person argue with someone who is acting like a jerk, because:
- They quickly realize (oh crap!?) I am clearly a vibrational match to this jerk if I attracted them into my experience (Gosh darn it!! Next time I’m going to do my best to get on the happy trail first to avoid attracting the likes of you).
- Why would any happy person waste their time conversing with someone clearly not happy about life? Instead happy people mentally send love smacks and secretly send well wishes to those with unfortunate non-loving life ways. Perhaps ending the interaction with a “start loving life” business card (optional). Because you know, anyone even the most miserable peeps can start loving life (plug).
3) Happy people do not try to change the world. Happy people know each person is on their own journey and realize some people are:
- loving life
- want to know how to start loving life or (give out business card here)
- blame everyone else for why they are not loving life. (no business card for you)
Either way it’s all good, because happy people already know the world is a happy place and they don’t need the world to be a happy place in order for them to live like it is.
Choose to live your life on the leading edge of happiness and start loving life today.
To ensure you have the most amazing year ever, below is a list of the
Top 10 Start Loving Life Tips
for an AMAZING YEAR!!!!
1) First and Foremost, don’t make ANY resolutions. You set yourself up for failure before you even begin. Yes, plans are nice but leave it at that. The good thing about plans is they can change. Don’t make some crazy resolutions that once you mess up, you’ll feel bad, your new year goes to crap quickly, and then you’re already looking forward to 2015.
2) Make New Years happen every freakin day. Wake up every single morning knowing you can start the day any way you want. If you want to be cranky about what happened the day before, knock yourself out, you have that right. But geeeeez, do you really want to keep the momentum of what’s going wrong in your life. Noooooo. Instead, know that every day you can start over. Every day you can do something different.
If you are on a diet and ate a big piece of chocolate cake the night before, who cares! Get over it, start that crazy diet you committed to the next morning. Simple. Every day you can start over.
3) Appreciate all the little things in your life going right. So many times we focus on what’s going wrong and we increase the likelihood of more things going wrong in our lives—–which we all know stinks! Instead focus on the simple things that are going right in your life such as maybe a roof over your head, a paycheck (even how small or large it is), friends, family or how about the fact that you have internet connection because clearly your reading this blog (and I bet it’s on a smart phone too).
Stop hemming and hawing about what’s not working and start paying attention to what is. You will be surprised how once you shift your focus toward what “is” working, things will start to improve for you like magic, but it’s not. It’s actually how life is supposed to work.
4) Give yourself a break. You are harder on yourself than anyone else. Get over it, life is not perfect and neither are you. You are going to screw up, face it. The good thing is every time you screw up it further clarifies what you want in life. Take the hit (I mean lesson) and move on.
5) Break the rules. It’s your life, you define it. Don’t live your life for other people. Be who you are and everything will work out for you. This includes your parent or partner. Gotta love em but only you know what’s best for you. Be relentless in what you want, don’t whine, be happy and soon the others will follow.
6) Sometimes you have to cheat. I am a die-hard Atkins fan, but put a Friendly’s Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Sundae with Chocolate Almond Chip Ice cream in front of my face and consider it gone. If you love something, don’t deprive yourself. Everyone deserves a little ice cream once in awhile.
7) Have Fun. Don’t make a big deal about little things going wrong. Make the best out of each day and fun will follow you.
8) Laugh whenever possible. Why? Because life is just so much more fun that way.
9) Practice smiling more. The reality is most people don’t smile. Smiling is sexy, try it. Try smiling at a stranger and pay attention to how they react, they will either look at you like your weird, gleefully smile back or will think you want to date them. Either way—-it’s fun to smile.
10) Pay attention to Nature. Come on it is free and readily available. It wasn’t until just recently at the advice of my dog trainer that I started to walk my Chihuahua Pumkin at age 5. I know. Who needs a dog trainer to tell them you’re dog pees all over your house because he never sees the outside. To my defense, I swore he was wee-wee pad trained and just kept missing the pad? Haaa—okay, plus I got new carpeting and I wasn’t messing that up.
Either way it brought him and I outside to nature. I will admit though, when it is freakin cold out, my attitude is more of a “hurrrrrry up already Pumkin”!! But when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping, I often take a moment to look around and think, damn…this walking the dog thing really aint soooo bad!
There you have it! Hope you enjoyed!!
See ya in 2014!!!