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Why you have to stop giving everything to your kid.

Why you have to stop giving everything to your kid.

Hey parent!

Let’s start with stating the obvious …

You love your kid.

BUT … you may feel at times …

resentful …

overwhelmed …

stressed …

And maybe a bit guilty because even though you LOVE your child, you resent the fact that parenthood makes you a bit bitter.

If so, don’t worry since you are not alone.

You should not feel guilty about this.

In fact, these are common emotions that you are feeling so don’t fret.

In this article I am about to share with you …

  • Why you feel this way
  • Why it’s not a BAD thing BUT a GOOD thing
  • And how you are going to fix it.

Here goes …

As a parent you want what’s best for your child.  Obviously.

And like most parents, your intention is to provide a better life, with more opportunity for your child than what you experienced growing up.  Sound familiar?

But the problem is that although your intention is good, you give away the farm to your child.

And I don’t just mean the physical things or experiences …

Instead, you give them one of the most important things YOU must nurture and LOVE in order for YOU to feel good.

And that is …

Yourself.

That’s right.  You forget to take care of YOU FIRST.

And yes, I can hear many out there saying now … “well if my kid is happy then I will be happy” …

BUT this too is a BIG MISTAKE, NEVER WORKS long term and sets you up for BIG time resentment, not just as a parent but as a person and I am going to tell you why …

If YOU allow your happiness to depend on anyone other than yourself, you are setting yourself up for a life of disappointment; and this includes the happiness of a child or a spouse …

You see …

Unless YOU are happy, you really don’t have much to give anyone else.

It’s hard to LOVE and GIVE whole-heartedly when YOU are not LOVING yourself.  In fact it’s pretty impossible …

And what most parents don’t realize is that the more YOU as the parent become happy with yourself the more you teach your children (by EXAMPLE) that their happiness comes from within them and is not dependent on you as the parent or anyone else for that matter. (Imagine learning THAT at a young age … that’s a life changer)

So if you want to be an example of what it looks like to Start Loving Life® and teach your kids to do the same, then listen up …

Taking care of yourself is NOT taking the time to get your nails done OR get your hair done or spend the day at a salon.

Although nice, those are short-lived and temporary.  You may feel good in the moment, but as soon as you get home you’ll be back to the grind waiting on the next nail or spa appointment …

So instead I am going to tell you what you can do that ACTUALLY WORKS and is simpler than going to a salon.  In fact you don’t even have to leave your house for it …

I know it’s hard to believe that it can be that easy, but a wonderful thing happens when YOU Start Loving Life: not only do YOU feel good but your life actually becomes much easier …

So here goes ….

RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, you are going to do the ONE thing you probably NEVER do.  But it’s the MOST POWERFUL thing you SHOULD do that will get you feeling better RIGHT AWAY …

YOU HAVE TO START APPRECIATING YOURSELF!!!!

That’s right.  I said it.  Now you may be rolling your eyes right now but hear me out …

You may be super-loving and kind with your child, but ARE YOU super-loving and kind to the first person that matters most … YOU?

Meaning are you appreciating all the BIG and LITTLE ways you …

  • Manage your family life (all of it … kids, spouse, parents, pets, etc.)?
  • Maintain the household STUFF?
  • FOOD?  Everyone has to eat right?
  • Perhaps you have a J-O-B?

AND do you appreciate yourself when you TOTALLY mess up?

Like forgetting to pack your kid’s lunch?

Or forgetting to pick up your child from school or daycare?

Sounds terrible I know, but it’s called LIFE and it’s called it’s okay to mess up.  But appreciate the fact that YOU ARE TRYING YOUR BEST and STOP being so hard on yourself.

In fact, practice smiling MORE.

Practice laughing MORE.

BUT first and foremost, practice LOVING YOURSELF MORE …

Because MOM … YOU ARE AMAZING.  And I am sure your kid is pretty damn amazing, too.

But the BEST part about this whole process is that once YOU start to feel amazing, REGARDLESS of anyone or anything, you will then teach your child to do the same.

Imagine that?

Connie Henriquez is a Teen Life Coach who works with kids & teens who suffer from anxiety and common childhood insecurities. Her specialty includes teaching them how to be confident, happy, make better decisions and LOVE their LIFE in as little as 30 days (regardless of what they have experienced in their past). For more information check out StartLovingLife.com or call (516) 340-0378.

 

 

Everything you need to know about having a smart kid.

Everything you need to know about having a smart kid.

Your kid is smart.

Even if others say differently.

Smart is defined in so many ways.

Your kid doesn’t have to be a genius to be smart.

Your kid doesn’t have to get straight A’s to be smart.

YOU make your kid smart…

…by recognizing ALL the amazing abilities they do have.

Don’t limit them by holding them to a standard of what other people say is smart.

Love your kids for who they are.

Love your kids for who they are becoming.

And most of all teach your kids that smart is not the ability to know, smart is the ability to love.

Teach them to love themselves.

And the smartness that is really them will be the smartest thing they will ever need to know.

Be a smart parent.

Teach smart by teaching them how to Start Loving Life®…at an early age.

XOXO
~Connie

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How to prevent your child from being bullied.

When you’re focused on bullying, you’re focused in the wrong way!

Bullying occurs because the bully is INSECURE.  No one bullies because it feels good.  INSTEAD, they bully because YOU give up YOUR POWER when you give them the ability to influence your emotions.

To the kid being bullied: In life there will ALWAYS be bullies (aka…anyone that brings you down)!  Sometimes they will be the kids at school, sometimes it may be an adult or teacher, later in life it may turn out to be your boss!

To the parents: INSTEAD, of fighting against bullying (which WILL NEVER work), EMPOWER your child NOW with the confidence to NEVER CARE what others think.  THEN, you will see how this bullying epidemic has set them up for one amazing life…IMAGINE THAT?!

For more information, on how to EMPOWER your child to take control of their LIFE, REGARDLESS of ANYONE OR ANYTHING, call Start Loving Life at 631.730.6434 to learn more about our NEWEST COACHING PROGRAM for kids and teens, because in LIFE, a person who is happy and confident is more powerful than anything that is not…

How to overcome your SUCKY childhood…

Let your parent’s off the hook.  They gave you life so YOU can create YOUR own.  That’s it. Don’t hold them responsible for your hang ups.  They did the best they could at the time (yeah…their human too…).  Think of all the times you screwed up when you were younger.  Now add a couple of kids to the mix.

Besides you have two choices…blame away for where you are now.  OR OWN UP to the most amazing opportunity your parents did give you…and that’s called a chance at a very amazing LIFE (however…the “amazing” part is YOUR choice).

The lesson of this blog is…

The reason you feel stuck is because YOU ARE ALLOWING your past to KEEP YOU from your AMAZING future… (and this my friend is a plain ole waste of your time…)

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