I remember in my early 20’s, sitting in the Airport Diner in Bohemia, Long Island noshing on mozzarella sticks at 11pm with an old friend catching up and discussing life. I recall being dissatisfied with where Iwas and pondering what was next.
Oddly enough I remember the conversation well as it went like this…
My friend: “Con, I feel as if you will never be happy. You are always wanting for the next. It’s as if you are never satisfied.”
Me: Whaaaaa…??: (
OMG. He was totally right. I recall sitting there with nothing more to say other than thinking, geeeez what is my problem…I am so over eating these mozzarella sticks…if this is my life I am so screwed.
Fast forward 10 years later…
I finally had a new understanding of the conversation that night. It’s interesting to see the things that stand out from your past which at the time you have no idea the significance.
Interestingly enough, that night I thought I had a problem and what I feared most was the mere thought of going through life never being crazy excited about waking up each day, always wanting for more and never getting it, and being strangely disappointed that I would be subjected to the same long career, typical marriage in my mid twenties and juggling some kids until they were old enough for college. Again great for some people but for me…
Little did I realize that the exact opposite would happen and I would probably owe that conversation that night as my inspiration…
What I realized was…
I didn’t feel bad that night because my friend was right. Instead I felt bad because that conversation had me focused in opposition to everything I ever wanted, an improved job, more money, an awesome relationship…etc.
I was allowing some else’s perspective of me based on their own limited thinking (unknowingly of course…) to influence how I felt about myself and my desire for consistently wanting to grow.
As a result, I came to a very clear understanding, one in which I appreciate my friend for calling me out on…
90% of the population is content with status quo. They begin a career, work hard all their life, wake up on Monday looking forward to Friday and counting the years waiting for the day of retirement. And if that’s you and that makes you super happy, then that is great.
But if you are anything like me and find status quo terribly boring and suffocating to say the least then you are in luck…
What I finally realized is that there is a 10% just like me. You know…
Life is about the evolution of YOU. Which means you are always going to be wanting for more, long gone are the days when you pick one career and stick with it your entire life. Instead you will find you create a goal, accomplish the goal and then move on to the next…
And there is nothing wrong with this at all!
In fact, the most growth, fun and satisfaction you will experience in life, is when you continuously expand your boundaries. This is where increased confidence plays a role as the more you try new things and accomplish what you set out to do the more confidence you find in yourself. It is pretty amazing and life-giving once you start on this journey of self growth.
The second realization is something which is equally important and one that I was guilty of for years…
Appreciating YOURSELF. For years I neglected to pay attention and appreciate everything that I had accomplished so far. This includes everything, the little things, the great things and even the things you screwed up royally. Everything you do must be appreciated, because everything you do helps you clarify your likes and dislikes.
Some things you will want more of and some things you will realize once you tried there is never a reason to have to do that again. Every experience allows for you to make better decisions that are aligned with the NEW you and what you are moving towards.
Start Loving Life now…
Life is about progress. Life does not stand still. Life only seems to stand still when you keep doing the same thing over and over again. This equals boring, stuck and the feeling of discontent.
Instead don’t feel wrong for consistently wanting to grow and evolve. That is what a fun, amazing life is about. Expand your boundaries and life will expand with you allowing new and great experiences to come your way. Appreciate everything you can about everything you have lived so far. Give credit where credit is due. Every experience has created the person you are today. Don’t allow any bad experience to consume you instead appreciate the bad experience as a clarifying moment.
And secondly, appreciate yourself for every little thing you have done or plan to do. Once you discover the value in appreciating yourself you will see how life changes in the craziest ways and crazy goooood things start to happen for you…
What steps can you take today to move your life forward?
What things from your past and present can you appreciate for allowing you to be the person you are today?
Leave your comments below 😉
How to OVERCOME feeling stuck in Life.
I know. It’s hard to believe that the universe (or whatever you believe in…) actually knows better than you.
In life, we have become so conditioned to feel the need to control things. We plan our lives in such a way, that at times we miss many amazing opportunities.
It’s as if we think we know it all. Little do we know the plan for us is much greater than we can ever imagine. If only we would let things happen naturally and easily (as they should).
One of the major keys to getting what you want in life is actually being able to identify “what” you want in life. What trips people up the most, is that they assume they are supposed to know the whole plan. This idea leads to being overwhelmed, confused and not taking any action at all.
You become paralyzed and do nothing. You become complacent, stuck and feel there is no way out. Life goes on, and you go nowhere.
Don’t get stuck in that rut like most.
Instead, picture how you would like your life to be like. Imagine what an ideal day would be like. The ideal job, the ideal mate and so on.
Once you have a clear picture in your head of what you want, you’ve already set the process of attaining your ideal scene in motion. Your only job is to TRUST that your request has already been completed and BE OPEN to the opportunities that present themselves. That means EVERY OPPORTUNITY, even the ones that may not seem to make sense.
The universe KNOWS WHAT YOU WANT based on the vision you create. It also knows exactly what you need in terms of your own development to make your vision a reality. Being open to the opportunities presented allows you to move forward and take your next step in attaining your vision.
One thing to keep in mind is that new opportunities at time will feel uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable does not mean you made the wrong decision. Instead, it means that you are moving into a new expanded version of you, one which will push your boundaries and add to your overall development to get you going on your path. This is exactly what YOU NEED- to get to where YOU WANT to be going.
So many times, I see people take this route and finally get the will to try a new experience and because of the fear or doubt that sets in, they assume they made the wrong decision. They revert back to their old routines, their old way of thinking and they never want to experience anything new again. THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER.
Life is always about growing and expanding as a person. The more you grow, the more confidence you develop and the more amazing opportunities unfold before you. The key is that you have to “feel” your way through these new experiences. Give yourself a chance to get acclimated and you’ll be amazed at how great you feel once this new experience becomes second nature.
Remember, the universe will never give you more than you can handle. You have the capability of accomplishing anything that is thrown (wink!) your way.
For every time you feel you can’t get this new experience down, remember, you need to keep redefining the process. Don’t give up. Just keep trying. There is always something to be learned. Perhaps the skill set you will attain as a result of your efforts is necessary to where you want to go.
Every level of success requires a different mindset. Every new experience adds to your mindset to prepare you for your next level of success.
The only way you feel stuck in life is when you quit trying. The only way your life becomes boring is when you stop trying new things.
If you want to feel better the only thing you need to do, is to start answering to the Call of Life which is ALWAYS calling you forward. The only question is- whether or not you choose to go.
How many times in life when you experience a life changing event does someone say…”Hey Congratulations”!
How many times when your relationship is over or a divorce is in the works, do you hear “Hey Congratulations”! Never! Instead, you get the “Oh, I’m sorry…”!
Why? Because most often, people (including YOU) are not good with change. And by you experiencing any change whether it can be deemed good or bad, people do not know how to react.
In fact, we have been trained to let other people’s reaction set the standard of how we should feel. So then, doubt sets in (as if it wasn’t there already), and we start to question ourselves and our life’s present circumstances. “Well, clearly I must feel bad, if other people are feeling sorry for me”. “Clearly, nothing good can come of this change….”.
Wrong! Why? Because in life there is one reality, and that reality is, you are your only cheerleader!
You are the only one capable of knowing that you have the fortitude to move ahead. Yes, there are some of us that have people around us that are supportive and encourage us along the way, but honestly that is not their job.
No one else can truly know what you are feeling. No one else can truly know what you are wanting out of life. And with that in the equation, we cannot rely on other’s to validate who we are.
Instead, it is up to us, and only us, to embrace what we are given, and that means everything that we experience and every situation that comes our way.
And yes, I know saying congratulations may seem a bit extreme to someone who is just beginning the process of a life changing event. And you certainly may not be ready to hear it. And in fact you may find it thoroughly annoying to say the least…
But in essence, what I am saying is (something YOU already know) that whether you just lost your job or just had a relationship end….
Congratulations on being the most powerful creator you came to this life to be…
You are in the midst of experiencing one of life’s most amazing opportunities for change. And although you don’t want to admit it just yet. You wanted more, you wanted a lot more out of life… and NOW is your time.
Create that perfect job you’ve been dreaming of. Open that business you’ve been yearning for. Set sights on that perfect mate and accept no less than you know you are worthy of.
Embrace this journey that has been presented to you, and most of all “Congratulate” yourself for being that “who you are” and being open to accepting nothing but the very best your life has to offer!
Let your parent’s off the hook. They gave you life so YOU can create YOUR own. That’s it. Don’t hold them responsible for your hang ups. They did the best they could at the time (yeah…their human too…). Think of all the times you screwed up when you were younger. Now add a couple of kids to the mix.
Besides you have two choices…blame away for where you are now. OR OWN UP to the most amazing opportunity your parents did give you…and that’s called a chance at a very amazing LIFE (however…the “amazing” part is YOUR choice).
The lesson of this blog is…
The reason you feel stuck is because YOU ARE ALLOWING your past to KEEP YOU from your AMAZING future… (and this my friend is a plain ole waste of your time…)