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Do YOU feel wrong for wanting more out of life?

Do YOU feel wrong for wanting more out of life?

wanting-more-out-of-life-I remember in my early 20’s, sitting in the Airport Diner in Bohemia, Long Island noshing on mozzarella sticks at 11pm with an old friend catching up and discussing life. I recall being dissatisfied with where Iwas and pondering what was next.

Oddly enough I remember the conversation well as it went like this…

My friend: “Con, I feel as if you will never be happy. You are always wanting for the next. It’s as if you are never satisfied.”

Me: Whaaaaa…??: (

OMG. He was totally right. I recall sitting there with nothing more to say other than thinking, geeeez what is my problem…I am so over eating these mozzarella sticks…if this is my life I am so screwed.

Fast forward 10 years later…

I finally had a new understanding of the conversation that night. It’s interesting to see the things that stand out from your past which at the time you have no idea the significance.

Interestingly enough, that night I thought I had a problem and what I feared most was the mere thought of going through life never being crazy excited about waking up each day, always wanting for more and never getting it, and being strangely disappointed that I would be subjected to the same long career, typical marriage in my mid twenties and juggling some kids until they were old enough for college. Again great for some people but for me…

Little did I realize that the exact opposite would happen and I would probably owe that conversation that night as my inspiration…

What I realized was…

I didn’t feel bad that night because my friend was right. Instead I felt bad because that conversation had me focused in opposition to everything I ever wanted, an improved job, more money, an awesome relationship…etc.

I was allowing some else’s perspective of me based on their own limited thinking (unknowingly of course…) to influence how I felt about myself and my desire for consistently wanting to grow.

As a result, I came to a very clear understanding, one in which I appreciate my friend for calling me out on…

90% of the population is content with status quo. They begin a career, work hard all their life, wake up on Monday looking forward to Friday and counting the years waiting for the day of retirement. And if that’s you and that makes you super happy, then that is great.

But if you are anything like me and find status quo terribly boring and suffocating to say the least then you are in luck…

What I finally realized is that there is a 10% just like me. You know…

Life is about the evolution of YOU. Which means you are always going to be wanting for more, long gone are the days when you pick one career and stick with it your entire life. Instead you will find you create a goal, accomplish the goal and then move on to the next…

And there is nothing wrong with this at all!

In fact, the most growth, fun and satisfaction you will experience in life, is when you continuously expand your boundaries. This is where increased confidence plays a role as the more you try new things and accomplish what you set out to do the more confidence you find in yourself. It is pretty amazing and life-giving once you start on this journey of self growth.

The second realization is something which is equally important and one that I was guilty of for years…

Appreciating YOURSELF. For years I neglected to pay attention and appreciate everything that I had accomplished so far. This includes everything, the little things, the great things and even the things you screwed up royally. Everything you do must be appreciated, because everything you do helps you clarify your likes and dislikes.

Some things you will want more of and some things you will realize once you tried there is never a reason to have to do that again. Every experience allows for you to make better decisions that are aligned with the NEW you and what you are moving towards.

Start Loving Life now…

Life is about progress. Life does not stand still. Life only seems to stand still when you keep doing the same thing over and over again. This equals boring, stuck and the feeling of discontent.

Instead don’t feel wrong for consistently wanting to grow and evolve. That is what a fun, amazing life is about. Expand your boundaries and life will expand with you allowing new and great experiences to come your way. Appreciate everything you can about everything you have lived so far. Give credit where credit is due. Every experience has created the person you are today. Don’t allow any bad experience to consume you instead appreciate the bad experience as a clarifying moment.

And secondly, appreciate yourself for every little thing you have done or plan to do. Once you discover the value in appreciating yourself you will see how life changes in the craziest ways and crazy goooood things start to happen for you…

What steps can you take today to move your life forward?

What things from your past and present can you appreciate for allowing you to be the person you are today?

Leave your comments below 😉

Why being a single chick at 40 sucks…and what YOU can do about it.

Stop crying about your age.

No one cares about your age, UNLESS YOU DO.  I see it all the time.  Girls commenting on how old they are, how they aren’t married, haven’t met Mr. Right yet and question whether they will still be able to have children.

Every time I hear a comment referencing above I cringe.  Not because their feelings aren’t valid, but because they are going about it all the wrong way.  The only reason your age matters, is because YOU make it matter.  That’s right.  IT begins with YOU.

How YOU FEEL about yourself is ALWAYS how the WORLD (other people) view you.  It’s your attitude.  It doesn’t matter the words you choose, but it’s about the vibe you project.  For example, how many times have you met someone (I get this a lot for being a life coach) and before they tell you a story, which usually involves a complaint of some sorts, they begin with, “I’m a very positive, person, BUT…”.  In one breathe their saying they’re a positive person, and in the next breath all I can hear is their complaining. (BTW…if you truly are a positive person…which I am not a fan of that label anyway… you don’t have to say it…and by saying it….it usually means you’re not…but anyway…)

Your vibe, your energy, your attitude is what sets the importance around your age.  If YOU FEEL old, people will treat you as if you’re old.  If YOU FEEL BAD that you’re single, not married, and have no kids, people will feel bad for you, and or make comments that will make you feel bad.

BUT, if you come from a place of…

  • “I look great” (which at any age…you should look the best you can…hence…makeup, hair…blah…blah)

 

  •  “I am single and ready to mingle.”  That means you are open to ways of meeting guys.  Hence going out, online dating etc.  Don’t complain you are single, if all you do is work.

 

  • Appreciate EVERY guy you meet.  For every guy you meet, it helps clarify the qualities you want in a guy.  Don’t complain about what he does wrong (goodness you don’t have to marry him) but acknowledge the things he does right, for example, maybe you have no common interests, but perhaps he does open the door for you.  Appreciate all the little tid bits he does offer and the more you do, the closer you will get to finding Mr. Right.

 

  • Also, YOU NEED to be hopeful.  If you doubt any of this, it will not work, because again it’s your attitude, not the words you speak that will get you the guy, the marriage and the family.   How do you know if you’re hopeful? You will know because as you read this, you will feeeeeeeeel good thinking about all the possibilities. And if you feel DOUBTFUL, you will know, because you will feeeeeeel bad thinking this will never work.

And lastly…HAVE FUN with all of this.  GEEZ!  Stop looking at your age and SO WILL EVERYONE ELSE.  Goodness…I still have to think about how old I am, when someone asks me.  Why?  Because I don’t care! The only thing I care about is doing my best to look good, AND feel good.  And guess what…most people assume I’m in my twenties!  And what do I say to that.  NOTHING.  I just smile.  Why?  Because I don’t care, and no one else does either.

How to overcome your SUCKY childhood…

Let your parent’s off the hook.  They gave you life so YOU can create YOUR own.  That’s it. Don’t hold them responsible for your hang ups.  They did the best they could at the time (yeah…their human too…).  Think of all the times you screwed up when you were younger.  Now add a couple of kids to the mix.

Besides you have two choices…blame away for where you are now.  OR OWN UP to the most amazing opportunity your parents did give you…and that’s called a chance at a very amazing LIFE (however…the “amazing” part is YOUR choice).

The lesson of this blog is…

The reason you feel stuck is because YOU ARE ALLOWING your past to KEEP YOU from your AMAZING future… (and this my friend is a plain ole waste of your time…)

When to break up?

When to break up?

When to break up…?  I know.  When you are apart you miss them.  Then when you’re together, you are reminded of all the reasons you are secretly devising an exit strategy.

Don’t fret.  I know- you know the relationship is not great, and you beat yourself up for even staying in it.  But listen, somehow, someway the relationship has served you.  Whether it was the companionship when you needed it, or whether being with them allowed you to become really clear about the ideal qualities you want for your next partner.  Either way, lighten up.

Life is about exploring and learning about yourself.  Some times (even though we know better) it takes us a little longer to find the courage to make that change.  And guess what. That’s okay.  Don’t feel bad and stop feeling guilty.

You know you deserve better but this relationship has provided you with the  perfect foundation to prepare you for your future much improved, new relationship. Remember, it is easier to identify what qualities are important to you once you experience a relationship where those qualities are not present.

Then when you finally realize that you are done putting up with the stuff that does not serve you.  And you become sooooo clear about what you NOW want.  You will be ready.  Now, of course it doesn’t have to get to that point, but if it does for you…that’s okay too 😉

How to get over ex

How to get over ex (insert your ex’s name here…)!  Sometimes we fall in love with the IDEA of someone.

Then when we realize they do not live up to our idea…we then blame them for not being who we expect them to be.  But in essence…(and in fairness to them) they never were.

Don’t waste your time waiting around trying to make them into someone they’re not.

Instead…

Thank them for being (and sticking to) who they really are, by not being who you wanted them to be.  Then…get the f*ck out of there…and go after what you really want.

Cuz life…is never about settling…for less then you deserve.

 

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