Woodbury, Long Island, New York (516) 340-0378
Power Women of Long Island 2023

Power Women of Long Island 2023

Power Women of Long Island 2023

November 14, 2023
Crest Hollow County Club, Woodbury New York

Such a BLAST being chosen as one of the honorees amongst the most AMAZING WOMEN in business for Power Women of Long Island 2023! 💖 Power Women of Long Island honors those fearless females who make Long Island the thriving and vibrant place it is to work, live and do business. ✨ When women support women, amazing things happen. 💖 A BIG shout out to @schnepsmedia and a BIG CONGRATS to all my fellow honorees!

Connie Henriquez Kimmel Power Woman of Long Island
Connie Henriquez Kimmel and Victoria Schneps
Connie Henriquez Kimmel walking down red carpet
Connie and Jeff Kimmel at Power Women of Long Island 2023
Connie Henriquez Kimmel Power Women of Long Island 2023
Power Women of Long Island 2023
Connie Henriquez Kimmel Power Women Long Island Trophy
Honoree Connie Henriquez Kimmel- Power Women of Long Island
Songs of Love Charity Event

Songs of Love Charity Event

"Songs Of Love®" Charity Event

The Medicine of Music

Monday, October 2, 2023
Cold Spring Harbor Country Club, Cold Spring Harbor, New York

The Songs of Love Foundation is a national nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization that creates free, personalized, original songs to uplift children and teens currently facing tough medical, physical, or emotional challenges, while also fostering a supportive and empowering platform for singer/songwriters to share their unique talents and make a positive impact on the lives of others. For more information or to donate, please visit songsoflove.org .

Jeff and Connie Kimmel with Islanders' Butch Goring
Songs of Love with the Diton Fam!
Jeff and Connie Kimmel at Songs of Love Charity Event
How to improve your child’s self-esteem

How to improve your child’s self-esteem

Does your child lack self-esteem?

Your child’s biggest problem:
They defeat themselves in their own mind. That’s it.

By doing this, they are slowly over time killing their self-esteem which negatively affects their self-image which impacts EVERY aspect of their life.

When children lack self-esteem (aka self-love) they experience:

  • shyness
  • sadness
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • panic attacks
  • mood swings
  • anger outbursts
  • feelings of unworthiness
  • depression

Does this sound like your child?

All of the above IS fixable when you address the root issue: your child’s self-esteem.

Why your child lacks self-esteem?
(there can be many reasons, below is a common example with the many kids I work with)

Scenario: 1

Growing up, children are NOT taught to LOVE themselves or LOVE life. Instead at an early age, your child’s “intelligence” was measured by performance in every subject in school. Therefore, if your child did not excel academically, your child at age 6 (or whatever age) automatically was deemed “NOT smart”.

Scenario: 2

Conversely, if your child was lucky enough to excel in EVERY subject, then your child learned validation by manufactured benchmarks, such as grades. This created the pressure to perform in order to continue their validation of worthiness, all of which is exhausting, stressful and causes that dreadful “perfectionism” bug.

So regardless of whether your child fell into either scenario 1 or 2, that experience has shaped their self-image.

Now, should it have? No, of course not. Instead, we must teach our children that their worthiness comes from the inside and has NOTHING to do with outside accolades or other’s opinions of them. And that includes grades and everything else.

But unfortunately, the current reality lends to create a platform for your child at an early age to become very self-critical.

For example, self-critical thoughts based on the above scenarios include:

(Scenario 1) Does not excel academically:

  • I am not good enough.
  • I am not smart enough.
  • What’s wrong with me.
  • I have to study more.
  • I don’t study enough.
  • I am stupid.
  • I don’t fit in.
  • My parents are disappointed in me.
  • My grades aren’t good, so I am not a good student or person.
  • My teachers don’t like me.
  • My parents will take away my phone or privileges.
  • I’ll never get into college.
  • I’ll never amount to anything.
  • My friends are better than me because they are smarter.

Scenario 2: Does excel academically:

  • In order to be good, I MUST do well.
  • If I am smart and get a bad grade, maybe I am not smart.
  • If get a bad grade, I am disappointed in myself.
  • I must study, study, study in order to do well.
  • I must be the best to prove my worthiness.
  • I must be the best in order for my parents to be happy.
  • I receive positive attention from my parents only when I do well, so in order to feel loved, I must continue to do well.
  • I’m only as good as my last grade, which stresses me out about my next test.
  • What happens next year, if the work is harder and I’m not the best.
  • I MUST take A/P classes even though they stress me out.
  • If I fail at anything, I’m a failure.
  • I MUST do well in order to get into an IVY league school, so my parents are proud.

And the list goes on…

And I know, because I’ve worked with them. They put undue pressure on themselves to perform, fit in AND make you, the parent, happy. Let’s face it.  There is no wonder why kids’ anxiety and depression are at an all-time high. And just remember, the above scenario is pertaining to schoolwork and grades! There’s also the social aspect with making friends, succeeding in sports, the pressures of social media…and much more!

So, what’s the solution?

It’s simple. Kids must learn how to love themselves AND how to start loving life. Regardless of EVERYTHING ELSE. They must know that the only opinion of them that matters, is their own. And when they improve their opinion of themselves (their self-image), by focusing on their positive, unique qualities, they WILL feel better.

And WHEN they feel better, they will:

  • Stop equating their worthiness to their grades
  • Be nicer to themselves in their own mind (Stop focusing on the negatives and start focusing on the positives)
  • Be proud of their successes AND their failures (knowing that their success is in the ability to try new things)
  • Embrace their brilliance (not by grades, but by how they feel)
  • Love themselves so much (that they no longer compare themselves to others OR care what other people think of them)
  • Be more comfortable being around others (as they are more comfortable being themselves!)
  • Believe in themselves (no longer needing validation from anybody)

Because when your child starts loving life, life will love them back….

 Imagine that?

 

Connie Henriquez is a Teen Life Coach who has a private coaching practice located in Woodbury, NY where she teaches kids & teens how to overcome anxiety, self-doubt and improve their self-esteem in as little as 30 days utilizing her signature Start Loving Life® “positive psychology” coaching system. For more information on how your child can start loving life® call today at (516) 340-0378.

Positive Thinking for Seniors: Why you’re only as old, as you “think”

Positive Thinking for Seniors: Why you’re only as old, as you “think”

Getting older is not about decline. In fact, it is quite the opposite. So many things in our world improve with age!  But you must see it that way. So often, when people mention getting older, they line-list all the medications they’re on, complain about their body-aches and proudly display their new readers.

I get it. Living bodies age and change. But why on earth would you use those physical changes as a measure of how your life is going?  Your mind is much more powerful than your body.  Use that ever-growing, insatiable, vibrant, strong, mature bodily organ to gauge your health, regardless of the limitations of your physical body!

There are so many amazing things to enjoy and appreciate as we progress, evolve and grow. Why not focus on the opportunities that lie ahead, knowing what we’ve learned and using that knowledge as the catalyst to make the rest of our lives EVEN BETTER.

It’s strange to me how often that doesn’t happen and how people are actually using their age as an excuse or a way to hold themselves back from a continued lifetime of happiness.

It may not be easy in a world of negative stuff, but it really is worth the effort.  You should never be a slave to your age.  In fact, I dare you to use your age as a solid, powerful motivator to create the very BEST rest of your life.  And guess what?  YOU DESERVE IT!

Here are a few tips to follow right away:

Steer clear of your age. I’m not saying to be ashamed of your age. But don’t let it define you.  And don’t let other people define you by it.  Age shouldn’t be a benchmark for anything.  Plenty of people in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s 90’s and beyond are thriving, happy and healthy. Everyone is unique, taking their own path and defining what aging looks like. Be intentional and make your journey the very best.

Stop worrying. You’ve come this far. Don’t sweat the little things going wrong; instead focus on the little things going right. Appreciate the sunlight, the air you breathe and the very precious gifts we are given every morning we wake up. Life is what we make it and the more we appreciate our surroundings the better we feel.

Stop being hard on yourself. So often, we carry guilt from things we’ve done or screwed up. Who cares? Don’t ever let past stuff hold you back. Appreciate yourself for who you are: ALL OF IT. You did the best you could with what you had, and that is enough. Remember always, YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Loveeeeee yourself. That’s right. Perhaps you have a loving family, which is always nice, but perhaps you don’t. Newsflash: You don’t need anyone to be happy! You only need yourself. Stop letting other people’s decisions or behaviors (including family members) influence your happiness. In the end, life is not about controlling others but only ourselves. Happiness does not come from others; it comes from within. Love yourself. All of you. When you do, it inspires you and everyone around you. Loving yourself is the best thing you can do, for you and for them.

And most of all, be proud of yourself. Life is not always easy and we’ve all had our fair share of struggles. Do your best not to focus on the negative; focus on the positives.  You’ve earned it. And YES, YOU ARE WORTH IT.

Long Island’s Life Coach, Connie Henriquez teaches people of all ages how to overcome stress and anxiety utilizing her Start Loving Life® “positive psychology” coaching system. For more information check out startlovinglife.com or call (516) 340-0378.

Get Rid of Your Child’s Shyness Once and for All

Get Rid of Your Child’s Shyness Once and for All

Why Your Child is Shy

I recently worked with a young girl “Sally” (age 14) who was shy. Her mother was concerned about her lack of social life. When I first met with Sally, she was reluctant. Sally’s prior counselor had given her homework she was not able to complete.

Her assignment:

  1. “At school, go up to someone you don’t know and start a conversation.”  
  2. “Midweek, make plans with one of your friends for the weekend.” 

Sally wasn’t able to do either. And not only did she feel bad about it, she felt worse than she did before.  Sally already felt bad for being shy, but now she felt the added emotion of failure as she was not able to fulfill her counselor’s recommended homework, even though the tasks seemed simple.

The result?

Sally became more self-critical of her “shyness” and more self-critical of her ability to act in order to fix it.

You see, what most don’t realize is that children “know” what they need to do to socialize. They see many kids doing it in school. That’s not the issue.  The issue is that Sally really isn’t shy.  She simply does not feel comfortable with herself, so she doesn’t feel comfortable socializing.

So, asking a child who feels insecure within herself to start a conversation or make plans with a friend is IMPOSSIBLE for the child.

The reason she isn’t able to fulfill this seemingly simple task is because the root issue is not being addressed: her lack of self-esteem. 

Sally is not socializing because she feels unsure of who she is, compares herself to others and tends to be self-critical of herself in her own mind.  So, it’s ineffective to encourage action on her part which, at this stage, is too advanced and will only set her up for feeling like she failed again.

Therefore, if you have a child similar to Sally, who is shy or maybe lacks friends, then do the only thing you can do: improve your child’s self-esteem.  Because children who have an improved self-image discover how to love life and most of all, love themselves.  And when that happens, their social life improves.

When you teach children to love themselves, they feel better, perform better and are more comfortable being themselves around other people.  If your child isn’t shy at home, innately your child isn’t shy. It’s as simple as that.  You must teach children how to feel comfortable with themselves first, and then and only then will they feel comfortable around others. Imagine that?

The end result: after completing my program, Sally found the confidence within herself. She stopped feeling bad about herself; stopped feeling as if something was wrong with her.  Nothing was wrong with her, aside from her not knowing her true worthiness. And instead of begging mom to change schools to find new friends, she formed new friends and even became more involved in school activities, all because she understood that the only thing necessary was loving herself first.

Connie Henriquez is a Teen Life Coach who works with kids & teens who suffer from anxiety and common childhood insecurities. Her specialty includes teaching them how to be confident, happy, make better decisions and LOVE their LIFE in as little as 30 days (regardless of what they have experienced in their past). For more information check out Connie’s “30 Days to Happy” program here or call (516) 340-0378.