Woodbury, Long Island, New York (516) 340-0378
What’s the secret to being happy every day?

What’s the secret to being happy every day?

There is only one thing to rely on for happiness in your life: The power of your mind.

Many people tend to complain and choose to focus on their problems, never realizing that the reasons for their complaints and problems stem from their own mind and their thoughts.

That is why negative people usually have the worst luck, nothing ever goes right for them and/or they are always sick or suffering from some physical ailment (neck ache, back ache, etc.)

It is also why happy, positive people tend to have good luck, things tend to work out for them and they typically have good health.

It is not a coincidence, people!

Consider the people you know.  Are they super happy, positive and loving life?  Or are they cranky-pants, stressed and just getting by?

Newsflash: Your world reflects back to you, how you think and feel.  Good or bad

So knowing this information, why do so many people continue to complain and focus on all the negativity around them?  Do they not believe they have the power to improve their life one thought at a time?

The great news is: YOU have that power!  And it’s easier than you think.

The first step is becoming more aware of what you think and speak about.

For example: When you wake up, you can be excited about the day anticipating a great day ahead.  Or you can dread getting out of bed and focus on all the reasons you don’t want to go to work.

Which will result in you having a great day?

And when you get to work, you can greet your co-workers in a happy mood, spreading the sunshine.  Or you can show up recapping how you couldn’t sleep and questioning whether it’s 5pm yet?

Which will result in you having a great day?

Then on your way home from work, you can recap all the amazing things from your day, such as:  so happy I got to work on time; Sally and I had a great laugh about that work project; lunch was extra good today.  Or you can focus on what went wrong that day, such as:  this was the longest day ever; Sally is so annoying; my boss has no clue; and I can’t stand this job.

Which will result in you having a great evening?

You guessed it! The person who deliberately looks for the good in everything finds happiness.  Now, will there always be stuff you don’t love? Of course. That’s called life.  But, you dohave a choice on what you give your attention to and what you choose to speak about.

So now that you know how your thoughts are responsible for how your life plays out, each and every day, how can YOU start thinking differently today?

Speak of your life as you want it be, as opposed to how it’s been.  Imagine your life how you want it to be versus how it’s been.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Just give it a try! XOXO! 

Do you feel guilty for wanting more out of life?

Do you feel guilty for wanting more out of life?

I remember in my early 20’s, sitting at the Airport Diner in Bohemia, Long Island at 11pm with an old friend catching up and discussing life. I recall being dissatisfied with where I was and pondering what was next.

Oddly enough, I remember the conversation well.  It went like this…

My friend: “Con, I feel as if you will never be happy.  You are always wanting for the next.  It’s as if you are never satisfied.”

Me: Whaaaaa…?? (Insert frowny face 🙁 here)

OMG.  He was totally right. I recall sitting there with nothing more to say other than thinking, geeeez, what is my problem…if this is my life I am so screwed.

Fast forward 10 years later…

I finally have a new understanding of the conversation that night.  It’s interesting when you finally realize that seemingly insignificant pieces of your past really do have significance. 

That night, I thought I had a problem.  I feared the mere thoughtof going through life never being crazy-excited about waking up each day, always wanting for more, never getting it, being strangely disappointed that I would be subjected to the same long career, typical marriage in my mid-twenties and juggling some kids until they were old enough for college.  Definitely Ok for some people, but for me…

Little did I realize that the exact opposite would soon happen and I would owe it to the conversation that night as my inspiration…

What I realized was…

I felt bad that night, but not because my friend was right.  I felt bad because that conversation revealed that I was focused in direct opposition to everything I ever wanted: a better job, more money, an awesome relationship … etc.  

I was allowing some else’s perspective of me, based on their own limited thinking (unknowingly of course…), to influence how I felt about myself and my desire to consistently grow.

As a result, I came to a very clear understanding, one in which I appreciate my friend for calling me out on…

90% of the population is content with the status quo.  They begin a career, work hard all their lives, wake up on Monday looking forward to Friday, and count down the years to retirement.  And if that’s you and that makes you super happy, then great. 

But if you are anything like me and find the status quo terribly boring and suffocating to say the least, then you are in luck…

What I finally realized is that there is are 10% just like me, who also believe…

Life is about the evolution of YOU.  Which means you are always going to be wanting for more. Long gone are the days when you pick one career and stick with it your entire life.  Instead you will create a goal, accomplish the goal and then move on to the next…

And there is nothing wrong with this at all!

In fact, the most growth, fun and satisfaction you will experience in life, is when you continuously expand your boundaries.  This is where increased confidence plays a role.  The more you try new things and accomplish what you set out to do, the more confidence you find in yourself.  It is pretty amazing and life-giving once you start on this journey of self-growth.

The second realization is something equally important and one that I was guilty of for years…

Appreciating YOURSELF. For years I neglected to pay attention and appreciate everything that I had accomplished so far.  This includes everything, the little things, the great things and even the things you screwed up royally.  Everything you do must be appreciated, because everything you do helps you clarify your likes and dislikes.

Some things you will want more of and some things you’ll realize that once tried, there is never a reason to have to do that again.  Every experience allows for you to make better decisions that are aligned with the NEW YOU and what you are moving towards.

Start Loving Life now…

Life is about progress. Life does not stand still.  Life only seems to stand still when you keep doing the same things over and over again.  This equals boring, stuck and the feeling of discontent. 

Don’t feel bad for consistently wanting to grow and evolve.  That is what a fun, amazing life is about. Expand your boundaries and life will expand with you, allowing new and great experiences to come your way.

Appreciate everything you can about everything you have lived so far.  Give credit where credit is due.  Every experience has created the person you are today.  Don’t allow any bad experience to consume you, instead appreciate the bad experience as a clarifying moment. 

Appreciate yourself for every little thing you have done or plan to do.  Once you discover the value in appreciating yourself, you will see how life changes in the craziest ways and crazy goooood things start to happen for you…

What steps can you take today to move your life forward? 

What things from your past and present can you appreciate for allowing you to be the person you are today?

Comment on the blog below! XOXO

Are VIDEO GAMES BAD for KIDS?

Are VIDEO GAMES BAD for KIDS?

Many parents call me with the concern that their child is spending way too much time playing video games, whether it be Call of Duty, Minecraft, Fortnite or whatever the rage is at the moment.

And yes, if you find your child’s excessive playing is affecting responsibilities, social life and/or school work, then I definitely do recommend creating some kind of time limits to ensure your child is engaging in the world.

But, I would never suggest video games are all bad. In fact, I find that video games can help your child tremendously, especially if your child is experiencing stress, anxiety or is going through a difficult time. And yes, most parents are shocked when I say this, but let me offer you a perspective from someone who teaches kids how to love life and be happy.

As a parent, you may have a hard time relating to video games since your generation grew up very differently. For you, it was common to play outside, play with friends or just play with rocks (joke!). It took little to entertain you as a kid and as a result you felt you were more engaged in the world. And you are correct, you probably were. But that’s NOT the same world your kids are living in today. And that’s a very good thing.

Today’s world is about technology and progression. Today’s children are living proof of these advancements, as they know how to navigate an IPHONE or IPAD before even learning to walk or talk. It’s as if the kids of this new generation were born ready and willing to embrace all of what technology has to offer. This is very different compared to our generation of the Rubik’s cube, Lite Brite and if you were more advanced, Atari (another joke!).

And this is in addition to all the social media stuff (Instagram, Snapchat) as well as the constant noise in your child’s mind from social pressures, self-criticism, perfectionism, anxiety and the list goes on.

But children, who innately know the power of their minds and the need to “turn it off,” will often look to video games as an outlet. And that is not a bad thing.

Video games can allow children to shut their minds off from the daily stresses of life or negative thinking that can contribute to stress and anxiety.  Just as there are many other creative outlets, including reading, coloring, listening to music, playing an instrument, baking and even meditation, video games can be a helpful distraction if that is what your child prefers.

Each child is unique and will gravitate to the creative outlet that works best for him or her. If part of that outlet for your child includes moderate video gaming, then “let the games begin!”

Connie Henriquez is a Teen Life Coach who has a private coaching practice located in Woodbury, New York where she teaches kids & teens how to overcome anxiety, self-doubt and improve their self-esteem in as little as 30 days utilizing her signature Start Loving Life® “positive psychology” coaching system. For more information on how your child can start loving life®…call (516) 340-0378

 

How to Deal with Negative People

How to Deal with Negative People

HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE

When clients ask me how to deal with negative people I always respond with the same answer…

The more positive YOU get, the less likely you will attract (encounter) negative people.

Which is TOTALLY true.

BUT …

What happens when that negative person is in your FAMILY or close circle of FRIENDS?

What do you do then?

And I’ll admit, even after practicing POSITIVITY and HAPPINESS for YEARS, and knowing how to spread my optimistic attitude to others, blah, blah, blah … I sometimes get burned.

And do you know why?

Because I put myself where I know I shouldn’t be.

And it’s NEVER worth the sacrifice. EVER.

So yes, once you get positive you will typically attract other positive, like-minded peeps.

But when you MUST be around someone who tends to be negative, for whatever reason,

Then there is only one answer on how to deal with it …

YOU must give YOURSELF permission to:

  • Excuse yourself from the conversation (politely get off the phone)
  • And/or decline the invite to hang out.

Because even though you may be a positive person,

Don’t put yourself in a situation where you know you must bring ALL YOUR ENERGY in order to have a good time.

That’s TOO much of a burden.

It’s mentally exhausting and it NEVER turns out fun for you.

You may feel bad declining at first, because you don’t want to be rude,

But really, you owe it to yourself.

Because …

Everyone is on their own personal journey.

DON’T test your own personal alignment in order to compensate for anyone else’s LACK of personal alignment!

Instead …

LOVE them from afar.

And know they will eventually find their own happy way.

Because to give up your own happiness for anyone else,

Is never worth it.  EVER.

~Connie

(COMMENT below as I would LOVE to hear what has worked for you…in handling negative people in the past) 

 

 

3 ways YOU may be holding yourself back RIGHT NOW

3 ways YOU may be holding yourself back RIGHT NOW

Long gone are the days where being rich is only about money. If you are not waking up every single day excited about life you are missing out…

In fact, you are missing out if…

  1. You are hell bent on who the president is (and yes I would say this regardless of who won).  YOU control your life by your decisions and actions.  Don’t use the President or anything for that matter as an excuse to complain OR not be happy.
  2. You get offended by what others do. Who cares what others choose to do. That’s their problem, don’t make it yours.
  3. You say you are a positive person (this one I love!) but your actions are quite the opposite…

Become part of the NEW TYPE of RICH. KNOW exactly why “YOUR MINDSET” is the ONLY thing that brings TRUE HAPPINESS. LOVE AND THE MONEY you want.

So stop chasing the love and the money and start finding yourself.  Because IT ALL means nothing if you’re are NOT waking up every day EXCITED about YOUR life…

XOXO

Connie 

 

Do YOU feel wrong for wanting more out of life?

I remember in my early 20’s, sitting with an old friend at the Airport Diner in Bohemia, Long Island eating mozzarella sticks at 11pm. We were catching up and discussing life, and I recall being dissatisfied and pondering what was next.

Oddly enough, I remember the conversation well, as it went like this…

My friend: “Con, I feel as if you will never be happy. You are always wanting for the next. It’s as if you are never satisfied.”

Me: Whaaaaa…??: (

OMG. He was totally right. I recall sitting there with nothing more to say other than thinking, geeeez what is my problem? If this is my life I am so screwed…

Fast forward 10 years later…

I finally had a new understanding of the conversation that night. It’s funny, the things that stand out from your past that you actually remember. 

That night I thought I had a problem. And what I feared most was the mere thought of going through life never being crazy excited about waking up each day, always wanting for more and never getting it, and being strangely disappointed that I would be subjected to the same long career, typical marriage in my mid twenties and juggling some kids until they were old enough for college. Again great for some people but for me…

Little did I realize that the exact opposite would happen, and I would probably owe that conversation that night as my inspiration.

What I realized was…

I didn’t feel bad that night because my friend was right. Instead I felt bad because that conversation had me focused in opposition to everything I ever wanted, an improved job, more money, an awesome relationship…etc.

I was allowing some else’s perspective of me based on their own limited thinking (unknowingly of course…) to influence how I felt about myself and my desire for consistently wanting to grow.

As a result, I came to a very clear understanding, one in which I appreciate my friend for calling me out on…

95% of the population is content with status quo. They begin a career, work hard all their life, wake up on Monday looking forward to Friday and count the years waiting for retirement. And, if that’s you and that makes you super happy, then that is great.

But if you are anything like me, and you find the status quo terribly boring and suffocating to say the least, then you are in luck! Because you are NOT alone.

In fact, I am going to share with you the 3 MAJOR TAKE-AWAYS from that one conversation that I had learned years later that CHANGED MY LIFE and MY PERSPECTIVE so you don’t feel nuts for wanting more out of life:

Life is about the evolution of YOU. Which means you will always want for more! Long gone are the days when you pick one career and stick with it your entire life. Instead, you will create a goal, accomplish the goal and then move on to the next…

And there is nothing wrong with this at all!

In fact, the most growth, fun and satisfaction you will experience in life, is when you continuously expand your boundaries. This is where increased confidence plays a role. As the more you try new things, the more confident you will become. It is pretty amazing and life-giving once you start on this journey of self growth.

The second realization is something which is equally important and one that I was guilty of for years…

Start Appreciating YOURSELF. For years I neglected to pay attention and appreciate everything that I had accomplished so far. This includes everything, the little things, the great things and even the things you screwed up royally. Everything you do must be appreciated, because everything you do helps you clarify your likes and dislikes.

Some things you will want more of. And some things once you try you will never want to do again. Every experience allows for you to make better decisions that are aligned with the NEW you and what you are moving towards.

Start Loving Life now…

Life is about progress. Life does not stand still. Life only seems to stand still when you keep doing the same thing over and over again. This equals boring, stuck and the feeling of discontent.

Instead don’t feel wrong for consistently wanting to grow and evolve. That is what a fun, amazing life is about. Expand your boundaries and life will expand with you, allowing new and great experiences to come your way. Appreciate everything you can about everything you have lived so far. Give credit where credit is due. Every experience has created the person you are today. Don’t allow any bad experience to consume you, instead appreciate the bad experience as a clarifying moment.

And appreciate yourself for every little thing you have done or plan to do. Once you discover the value in appreciating yourself you will see how life changes in the craziest ways and crazy goooood things start to happen for you…

What steps can you take today to move your life forward?

What things from your past and present can you appreciate for allowing you to be the person you are today?

Leave your comments below 😉