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Why being a single chick at 40 sucks…and what YOU can do about it.

Why being a single chick at 40 sucks…and what YOU can do about it.

Stop crying about your age.

No one cares about your age, UNLESS YOU DO.  I see it all the time.  Girls commenting on how old they are, how they aren’t married, haven’t met Mr. Right yet and question whether they will still be able to have children.

Every time I hear a comment referencing above I cringe.  Not because their feelings aren’t valid, but because they are going about it all the wrong way.  The only reason your age matters, is because YOU make it matter.  That’s right.  IT begins with YOU.

How YOU FEEL about yourself is ALWAYS how the WORLD (other people) view you.  It’s your attitude.  It doesn’t matter the words you choose, but it’s about the vibe you project.  For example, how many times have you met someone (I get this a lot for being a life coach) and before they tell you a story, which usually involves a complaint of some sorts, they begin with, “I’m a very positive, person, BUT…”.  In one breathe their saying they’re a positive person, and in the next breath all I can hear is their complaining. (BTW…if you truly are a positive person…which I am not a fan of that label anyway… you don’t have to say it…and by saying it….it usually means you’re not…but anyway…)

Your vibe, your energy, your attitude is what sets the importance around your age.  If YOU FEEL old, people will treat you as if you’re old.  If YOU FEEL BAD that you’re single, not married, and have no kids, people will feel bad for you, and or make comments that will make you feel bad.

BUT, if you come from a place of…

  • “I look great” (which at any age…you should look the best you can…hence…makeup, hair…blah…blah)


  •  “I am single and ready to mingle.”  That means you are open to ways of meeting guys.  Hence going out, online dating etc.  Don’t complain you are single, if all you do is work.


  • Appreciate EVERY guy you meet.  For every guy you meet, it helps clarify the qualities you want in a guy.  Don’t complain about what he does wrong (goodness you don’t have to marry him) but acknowledge the things he does right, for example, maybe you have no common interests, but perhaps he does open the door for you.  Appreciate all the little tid bits he does offer and the more you do, the closer you will get to finding Mr. Right.


  • Also, YOU NEED to be hopeful.  If you doubt any of this, it will not work, because again it’s your attitude, not the words you speak that will get you the guy, the marriage and the family.   How do you know if you’re hopeful? You will know because as you read this, you will feeeeeeeeel good thinking about all the possibilities. And if you feel DOUBTFUL, you will know, because you will feeeeeeel bad thinking this will never work.

And lastly…HAVE FUN with all of this.  GEEZ!  Stop looking at your age and SO WILL EVERYONE ELSE.  Goodness…I still have to think about how old I am, when someone asks me.  Why?  Because I don’t care! The only thing I care about is doing my best to look good, AND feel good.  And guess what…most people assume I’m in my twenties!  And what do I say to that.  NOTHING.  I just smile.  Why?  Because I don’t care, and no one else does either.

When to break up?

When to break up?

When to break up…?  I know.  When you are apart you miss them.  Then when you’re together, you are reminded of all the reasons you are secretly devising an exit strategy.

Don’t fret.  I know- you know the relationship is not great, and you beat yourself up for even staying in it.  But listen, somehow, someway the relationship has served you.  Whether it was the companionship when you needed it, or whether being with them allowed you to become really clear about the ideal qualities you want for your next partner.  Either way, lighten up.

Life is about exploring and learning about yourself.  Some times (even though we know better) it takes us a little longer to find the courage to make that change.  And guess what. That’s okay.  Don’t feel bad and stop feeling guilty.

You know you deserve better but this relationship has provided you with the  perfect foundation to prepare you for your future much improved, new relationship. Remember, it is easier to identify what qualities are important to you once you experience a relationship where those qualities are not present.

Then when you finally realize that you are done putting up with the stuff that does not serve you.  And you become sooooo clear about what you NOW want.  You will be ready.  Now, of course it doesn’t have to get to that point, but if it does for you…that’s okay too 😉

How to get over ex

How to get over ex

How to get over ex (insert your ex’s name here…)!  Sometimes we fall in love with the IDEA of someone.

Then when we realize they do not live up to our idea…we then blame them for not being who we expect them to be.  But in essence…(and in fairness to them) they never were.

Don’t waste your time waiting around trying to make them into someone they’re not.


Thank them for being (and sticking to) who they really are, by not being who you wanted them to be.  Then…get the f*ck out of there…and go after what you really want.

Cuz life…is never about settling…for less then you deserve.