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Why being a single chick at 40 sucks…and what YOU can do about it.

by | Mar 28, 2012 | Relationship

Stop crying about your age.

No one cares about your age, UNLESS YOU DO.  I see it all the time.  Girls commenting on how old they are, how they aren’t married, haven’t met Mr. Right yet and question whether they will still be able to have children.

Every time I hear a comment referencing above I cringe.  Not because their feelings aren’t valid, but because they are going about it all the wrong way.  The only reason your age matters, is because YOU make it matter.  That’s right.  IT begins with YOU.

How YOU FEEL about yourself is ALWAYS how the WORLD (other people) view you.  It’s your attitude.  It doesn’t matter the words you choose, but it’s about the vibe you project.  For example, how many times have you met someone (I get this a lot for being a life coach) and before they tell you a story, which usually involves a complaint of some sorts, they begin with, “I’m a very positive, person, BUT…”.  In one breathe their saying they’re a positive person, and in the next breath all I can hear is their complaining. (BTW…if you truly are a positive person…which I am not a fan of that label anyway… you don’t have to say it…and by saying it….it usually means you’re not…but anyway…)

Your vibe, your energy, your attitude is what sets the importance around your age.  If YOU FEEL old, people will treat you as if you’re old.  If YOU FEEL BAD that you’re single, not married, and have no kids, people will feel bad for you, and or make comments that will make you feel bad.

BUT, if you come from a place of…

  • “I look great” (which at any age…you should look the best you can…hence…makeup, hair…blah…blah)


  •  “I am single and ready to mingle.”  That means you are open to ways of meeting guys.  Hence going out, online dating etc.  Don’t complain you are single, if all you do is work.


  • Appreciate EVERY guy you meet.  For every guy you meet, it helps clarify the qualities you want in a guy.  Don’t complain about what he does wrong (goodness you don’t have to marry him) but acknowledge the things he does right, for example, maybe you have no common interests, but perhaps he does open the door for you.  Appreciate all the little tid bits he does offer and the more you do, the closer you will get to finding Mr. Right.


  • Also, YOU NEED to be hopeful.  If you doubt any of this, it will not work, because again it’s your attitude, not the words you speak that will get you the guy, the marriage and the family.   How do you know if you’re hopeful? You will know because as you read this, you will feeeeeeeeel good thinking about all the possibilities. And if you feel DOUBTFUL, you will know, because you will feeeeeeel bad thinking this will never work.

And lastly…HAVE FUN with all of this.  GEEZ!  Stop looking at your age and SO WILL EVERYONE ELSE.  Goodness…I still have to think about how old I am, when someone asks me.  Why?  Because I don’t care! The only thing I care about is doing my best to look good, AND feel good.  And guess what…most people assume I’m in my twenties!  And what do I say to that.  NOTHING.  I just smile.  Why?  Because I don’t care, and no one else does either.


  1. teresa

    omg you are so right Connie although I am a postive person and on onlline looking for mr. right. I cannot complain he will come sooner or later in the mean time I am just working on me.

    • Connie Henriquez

      Exactly Teresa! Continue to focus on yourself, be open to every guy you meet, and know as you get more clear about the guy you want, he has to come. And once you “believe” he is on his way, you will realize…there is nothing for you to complain about 😉

  2. Terry Little

    Hi Girls…I came across this site and blog, and I love it…anyway…I was 35 and single…and it sucked…Until…well I realized it didn’t suck. Actually, it was great. I didn’t have to answer to anyone, it was about me. I was OK with being a single. My friends would even say…I don’t understand why YOU are still single. Well, I really had gotten to the point where I was totally OK with being single-it became a non-issue for me and my identity. WELL…wouldn’t you know it, a few weeks later I met my husband, we got engaged a year to the day of our first date, and know 6 years later, we have a wonderful daughter. I do believe in the power of manifestation-I think what made it work for me was I got out of my head…the single and sucks thing(you attract what you think about) and shifted my focus to be a happy and whole person. That was when the magic happened for me. I hope the magic happens for you too!!! LOVE the article and the candor!!!! Thank you for posting!

    • Connie Henriquez

      RIGHT ON…Terry!!! Thanks for sharing!!! ;-))))

  3. Robin (Masshole Mommy)

    I am almost there and I love my age. I think it gives me a different perspective on life.

  4. susan

    Hope is one of the most important things. Yes you always need to be hopeful, for just about everything.

  5. Maria

    This is a great confidence-boosting post! And, it is so true. The only people that really make an issue of age are the ones going around making it known to the world.

  6. Tammi @ My Organized Chaos

    I love this post, so true!! It’s all about the attitude and you gotta arm yourself with a good one!

  7. Meagan

    I constantly tell my husband that I’m so glad that I’m no longer in the dating or single scene. However, what great tips – having fun is sure to be a must!

  8. Dawn

    These are great tips for any age group, really. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Dawn

    I think these are all great tips. Thanks so much for sharing!

  10. Amber Edwards

    I have friends that I went to college with who aren’t married yet; and they are great role models for me. They want to be married, but the opportunity hasn’t presented itself for them yet. So in the meantime, they try to live life to the fullest. They travel, they mingle, they go on dates, and they always try to look their best. I think that will eventually help to draw the right guy to them.

  11. Kelly Hutchinson

    I am so happy to not be single. I hated being single and as hard s marriage can be sometimes, it is a better option for me.

  12. Jennifer

    These are great tips, especially the have fun part. If you’re stressing over your date, the other person can totally see it. It’s supposed to be fun, not a death march.

  13. lisa

    Great tips for single women! I have a girl friend who needs to read this article!!

  14. Aimee Smith

    These are great tips for anyone. No one wants to be friends with the whiner either!

  15. Nancy L.

    Great tips! I feel badly for my friends who are 40+ and not married, but I think it is very important to be happy being single too and then when you’re happy, the right one will come along.

  16. Sandra @ A Dash of Sanity

    Age really is just a number. It is only us that put ourselves in boxes and limit our options.

  17. Tess

    I hope I won’t be put into that situation . Lol I would probably feel too old .

  18. Tammilee Tips

    Great advice!! Life is always better with a good outlook.

  19. Jim

    What about many of us good single men that can’t meet a good woman at all these days, now that they have so many very high outrageous unrealistic expectations along with their very high standards as well?

    • Connie Henriquez

      Hey Jim! I hear you…dating can be super discouraging. BUT, it sounds like you may just be attracting the wrong type of girl. YES, there are plenty of girls as you mention above. BUT, there are also many girls that are looking for the same as you. Sometimes when we are single for a bit, we become discouraged and then (although we don’t want to admit it) we become a bit down on ourselves for not being able to meet someone good. I know, because we have all done it at some point in time. So the 1st thing is definitely don’t feel bad you haven’t met your match yet. Instead, use this time as a way to develop you, in preparation to meet that awesome girl. I know it’s a weird time now with COV-ID and all, but I normally always recommend getting out that and living your best life single!! That way you feel good, are happy and you are more likely to meet someone on the same page! It really does work! I hope this was helpful 🙂 If you feel you can use more guidance, I do offer a coaching session specific to getting you back on track, if you feel you need a confidence boost and direction! We can all use support especially when it comes to love! Feel free to email me through the contact page if you would like more info. In the meantime, hang in there and focus on the type of girl you want versus what you have been meeting! XO!!

  20. Connie Henriquez

    Hey Jim! Thanks so much for commenting!! Sounds like you haven’t been attracting the right ladies for you! You are correct, in that there are many different types of ladies out there…but don’t get discouraged! I always say—if you are looking for love and you aren’t having luck, take a break and focus on you! I found when I was single and worked on developing myself, it made all the difference! I became so busy with my life, my business and creative projects…that I didn’t even notice I was single…LOL!!! If I could do it, I know you could do it too! XO!


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Connie Henriquez Kimmel

Connie Henriquez Kimmel

Lifestyle Blogger & Author

I’m a born and raised Long Island girl obsessed with LIFE, LOVE, the color pink, fuzzy blankets, BUXOM lip gloss, my lawyer hunnnies Jeffrey Kimmel, our adorable chihuahua 🐶, Pumkin, 4 rescued non-cuddly cats 😝 and of course…Titos® Vodka!

My blog is about sharing ALL the EASY TIPS and TRICKS to Start Loving Life® 🥰 in every aspect of your life! WAHOOOO!!

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